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Tower Crane


Maker:  Plonker
Model No:  001
Scale:  1:50?
Review Date:  April 1st 2009


Plonker Index

Cranes Etc Model Rating
Packaging   (max 10)1
Detail   (max 30)0
Features   (max 20)
Quality   (max 25)1
Price   (max 15)0
Overall   (max 100)2%

Footnotes

 
Some people call it a scale model, some people call it a tower crane, most just wince.
Believe it or not, this is supposed to be packaging.
No doubt about it - this model sets a new standard for lattice work.
This opening door is supposed to be some sort of feature.
Plonker is a new model making company and this tower crane is their first product.  Not much is known about the Plonker company, but they are probably based in one of the new third-world countries such as the UK. 

It is not clear which make of tower crane this is supposed to be a model of.  In fact you would imagine that any self respecting company would be ashamed to admit they produced a real crane that looked like this.  It is understood that Plonker Models obtained the licence to produce this model after extensive negotiations with a 'rather famous, but little known' manufacturer.

The scale of the model is unknown.  The scale of this modelling disaster becomes clear by looking at it.

Packaging

The model comes in a rather unusual packaging.  It is unusual because the maker appears not to know the meaning of the word packaging.  What appears to be an old plastic food container is used together with some scrunched up brown paper which unfortunately had the aroma of something well past its sell by date.

The review model had no defects and there were no missing parts, although to be honest with a model like this it is hard to tell whether it is broken or not.  No instructions are provided which is a relief as there is one less thing to have to put in the bin.

Detail

Initial impressions are that the concept of detail has not yet entered into Plonker Models ideas about scale modelling.

The mast and jib sections are not metal and early hopes that the model might be an engineered resin product are dashed when closer examination reveals it to be little more than painted cardboard.  In this context the word painting is an insult to anyone who has ever held a brush.  The painted lattice work has been produced with all the skill and care of an upside down donkey wearing a blindfold. 

The hook block is remarkable.  It is literally a block fashioned out of paper and tape. The rope is clearly a carefully chosen white thread secured with an advanced technique called 'sellotape'.

Features

It features an opening flap in the side of the mast.  For what reason, surely no one will ever know.

Quality

There is no doubt that as a new maker Plonker Models is setting a standard never achieved before.  We can only hope it will never be achieved again.

Price

Plonker Models have advised that the model will be priced competitively.  This is good news as it will directly compete for a space in the trash can and should therefore be priced accordingly.

Overall

It is always good to see a new model maker enter the marketplace.  Actually not always.  Plonker Models have achieved something rarely seen in scale modelling.  A model so bad you can hardly tell what it is a model of.  On the plus side however is the thought that it is made of combustible material so perhaps it could find a niche in the market for 'flaming tower cranes'.

Footnotes

This model review was published as a 'worldwide exclusive' on April 1st 2009.  It is understood that the first run of this model is very limited and future production depends on market feedback.  Plonker Models have since advised that the review model was a pre-production version and that production models will have 'a number of improvements'.
 
 
Just imagine the painstaking skill used to make this.
You can only wonder at the intellect behind this.
The hook block has been modelled rather too literally by Plonker Models.